I say that I want silence, but I am not convinced that I do.
The noise in my home begins at 8 am each day, and the final silence begins around midnight. When you raise older teens alongside young children, quiet space comes in tiny pockets, bathroom breaks, a stolen afternoon hour. When the blessed silence appears, what do I normally do? I “listen” to the noise of the Internet. I escape into pixels + photos, not allowing room for the quiet to make space in my soul. In the midst of silence, I am not silent at all.
I am listening to a new podcast by Ruth Haley Barton and in episode 2, she has a conversation about silence and solitude. She says that when we choose solitude, we are “being present to the One who is always present with us.” We sit in silence to come home to ourselves in His presence. We are able to own the truth of our lives, the good, the bad and the ugly, from cultivating solitude as a place to simply be in the love of God. From the place of love, the truth can come out.
Being silent doesn’t come easy. We have mind-chatter, anxiety, an incessant desire to grab our phone. The good news is that we get to know ourselves better through this–we see that we are not good at being still, not good at waiting on God. We recognize that we do not trust God with the things that aren’t getting done while we sit. We don’t trust that He can lead us into what we need. Choosing silence and solitude is an expression of trust, of relinquishing control. We stink at that.
Ruth says that it took a year for her to get comfortable with even 10 minutes of daily silence. Palms open, no reading, no praying, only being with God. This reminds me that learning the rhythms of new spiritual disciplines requires practice. We don’t show up “ready” and amazing, connected and content. We simply show up. Every day. We may not see or experience the fruit of silence in the midst of it. It may feel awful, vulnerable, and mock our demand for doing. The fruit of silence may reveal itself in the way we live the rest of the day, our centeredness, resting in our belovedness, an ability to give a good word to another.
We often give up on the practice of silence and solitude because of the bad feelings and the unease. This is not instant spiritual gratification or transformation. This is building a lifestyle of responding to God and practicing what we aren’t good at: giving up control. We come and we sit in His presence. We wait. This changes us, little by little. We sit still long enough for the “sediment of our soul to settle”. It *will* settle, if we give it time. His voice will come, His presence near and dear. An invitation to restful love.
This summer I want to cultivate silence. I want to sit for those 10 minutes without doing, without giving words, without spiritually striving. I want to sit with Jesus, my kind companion, my gentle Lord, the lover and caretaker of my soul. I want to listen and receive. I want to be okay with my undoneness, my limits, my personal chaos. I will fail at all of it. But He loves to touch those places in us, healing us, soothing us. Cosmos to our chaos.
May we receive Him, sitting still, open-handed, willing, and open. Jesus, come.
linking up with #momentsofhope and #RaRaLinkup and #TellHisStory and Coffee for Your Heart and Porch Stories and Salt & Light and #HeartEncouragement and Grace & Truth and #FreshMarketFriday
I was just writing my thoughts on silence this morning, well yesterday morning. As far back as I can remember I have felt uncomfortable with silence. I really don’t know how to explain it, other than to say, it felt like I was being found out, on trial, judged. Had to hurry up and get some noise going, distractions, TV, music, something… Well I am starting now to experiment with silence and I’m thinking I’m liking it. Father has been slowly getting me to this place of silence, this place of being still and knowing…He is… I need to hear what I hear and feel what I feel, so Father can heal the broken places. I have a feeling I’m going to find out that silence really is golden.
This is beautiful. I have had many of the same struggles with silence as you have, and finally, it feels like a safe place to come home to.
Aimee, thank you for sharing this. I have long felt that the busyness of our day is one of Satan’s greatest tool against American believers. Silence and solitude bring that sense of Presence and focus to our lives. Even so, we struggle to find, or take, the time to seek the one who already has the answers we need. In Richard Foster’s book, The Celebration of Discipline, those chapters that focus on silence and solitude have provided me much need direction and support as I have striven to seek our Lord.
Yes, Richard Foster’s books are *so* valuable for inviting believers into greater, more textured ways to meet with the Lord. His book on Prayer was life-changing for me!
Very powerful post, Aimee. I needed to hear this today. Thanks for sharing it at #tellhisstory so I could read it!
Thank you, Sarah. I was able to find my 10 minutes today and I almost fell asleep because of feeling such rest in being with the Lord in a non-active way. May you find some quiet this week!
So good Aimee. I just recorded a video for a discipleship series on the topic of “Paying Attention in a Distracted Culture.” Silence and solitude is a crucial part of our connection with God. Ruth Haley Barton is a wonderful teacher on this topic. Visiting from #tellhisstory today and I’m so happy I did 🙂
Thank you so much for visiting, Angela! Your video sounds timely. Paying attention is becoming a lost art!
Silence is hard to come by in a family-filled home and life, but I’m learning to cultivate it — to grab it whenever I can. This may mean missing my favorite NPR personalities in favor of pursuing time with the Personality that shaped the universe. Pretty good trade.
Aimee, it’s a pleasure to find your blog today!
Yes, I like that you said “learning to cultivate”…we have to learn to find the spaces and nurture it!
I love silence! It is a rare treat in my full household. But I make time to be alone anyway and in God’s presence. It’s easier to hear His voice and commune with Him that way. It’s always worth it to carve out time with Him like that. Thanks for your post!
I agree, it is worth it!! It’s easy for me to fill that silence with other things…books, planning, etc. I too often worship at the altar of productivity.
Being a mom to 3 and a nanny to 4 more I very rarely get silence! However the other night I was able to have it for 2 hours and I literally didn’t know how to handle it. I didn’t know what to do with myself. Sitting and just communing with the Lord would be a good use of that silent time (if it ever comes again!) Thanks for the post!
Yes, it’s amazing that when we finally get silence, we are like zombies. lol! We feel so shocked by the quiet that we paralyze and don’t even know what to do!!!
A wholehearted yes and amen to all of this. I’m learning it’s ok to be silent with the Lord although it does take a little bit for that soul sediment to settle as you say. I don’t have 8 people at my house, but there always seems to be the barrage of the air conditioner or some other noise. I have to be intentional and strategic– some days I’ll just take my lunch break in the car and breathe in the silence. 🙂 Thanks for such beautiful words on such a beneficial practice. ♥
Sitting in the car is a wonderful space to find silence. Sometimes I do that before I go into the grocery store. Just sit and be.
Aimee, this is beautiful. This is something God has been speaking to me as well. I’ve been reading Discerning the Voice of God by Priscilla Shirer and she touches on this same message…if we don’t sit quiet, listening, we wont hear Him on a consistent basis. I’ve been practicing this and you are right, it is not comfortable. But it does make a difference. I feel like I’m hearing Him more and most importantly inviting Him to speak. Thanks for linking up at Salt & Light this week. I’ll be featuring this post tomorrow!
Thank you *so* much. I loved hearing about your journey and find it so encouraging when God speaks the same message to so many of us. We are practicing silence, but doing it together 🙂